I love my baby and wonder what he is like. But I know I gave him all I could. I gave him love, I did the healthy pregnancy things, and I remember him. We only have two pictures of our boy, that's okay I remember that he had the same nose as his brother and sister.
We honored our boy, had a graveside service for him and laid his little body to rest.
Why is this sad story among the ways I've got it all? Three reasons, first as sad as it is, I had a baby. I know of women who try so long and hard to have a baby and it never happens for them. I didn't get to take my boy home and I don't get to see him grow, but I got to have a baby. Another reason is, I'm okay. I don't have to dwell on my lose. I see how this moment in my life has shaped who I am. I understand that God has a plan for me and this was part of it. Do I know why, absolutely not, I don't even have a physical reason why his little heart stopped. What I do know is God knows more then my and I trust that this was the right thing for me and my family. Reason three is I have the blessing of a temple sealing. Jared and I went to a temple and were sealed to each other and all of our kids. Some day I'll see my little Christian again and I'll get to hug him and hold him. I might even get an answer as to why he didn't get to join us on this earth, in this life. But for now, I have all the answers and comfort I need, as so I have it all.
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